In an unforeseen twist to his earlier provocative suggestion that rich white kids should attend community college for two years, former President Barack Obama has taken his radical social leveling scheme one step further.

His new proposition seems to emerge as a backlash to the Supreme Court’s decision to abolish Affirmative Action and Student Loan Forgiveness.

“Rich white kids should not only be required to attend community college, but they must also be required to volunteer at food banks for a minimum of two years,” he declared to a group of stunned reporters, “to truly comprehend the extent of wealth disparity in the United States.”

The statement, unsurprisingly, sparked a new wave of indignation across America. An immediate poll conducted by Rasmutten reveals that a whopping 98 percent of the respondents deemed the idea “preposterous and discriminatory.”

“But not just any food bank,” he added, “preferably one situated in economically disadvantaged areas, where they can witness first-hand the struggles of the less fortunate.”

He went on to add that, “these young people, uh, should also be forced to eat oatmeal every morning.”

While Obama’s intention to level the socio-economic playing field is clear, his disregard for the entrenched benefits enjoyed by rich white kids is quite glaring. Rich kids everywhere were up in arms.

Chad Hartwick, a teen from the upper west side of New York City had this to say when asked about the comments, “My dad is an attorney and he will be having words with President Obama about this. I shouldn’t have to do any of that, we have enough money to make sure that never happens.”

When Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh asserted, “I got into Yale!!!” in an attempt to counter accusations of drunken misconduct, what he inadvertently revealed was the system’s bias: “A relative of mine got into Yale, and now, I too get the privilege to attend, despite my just above average academic record!”

Yale, in its defense, chose to remain silent on the topic, commenting only on Kavanaugh’s record of alleged misconduct. “It would be inappropriate to defame him with something the GOP would find distasteful.”

As shocking as Obama’s recommendation might be, it carries a tiny chance of ever becoming a reality, likely to be vetoed by the House if it ever made it to the floor. As the debate continues, one thing remains clear – his audacious statements certainly make for some eye-catching headlines.

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