As we approach the end of the month, TV screens around the world are bracing for the ultimate daytime show finale. In a move hailed as “groundbreaking” by three fans on Twitter, ABC’s ‘The View’ has announced that its grand finale will feature its first-ever silent roundtable discussion. That’s right. After decades of heated debates, it’s time for a mellow departure – or so they hope.

For those who haven’t kept up with ‘The View’ news – yes, both of you – the show’s hosts will refrain from verbal communication for the entirety of the last episode. Instead, they will express their opinions using a series of complex hand gestures and facial expressions, paying homage to the lost art of mime. A bold move for a show that has long thrived on argumentative discourse, or as some may call it, cacophonous banter.

Our inside source at ABC, a perpetually disgruntled coffee intern, shared an exclusive snippet of the rehearsal: “They’re currently arguing about climate change using interpretative dance. It’s definitely an acquired taste.”

This unusual decision has raised a few eyebrows, and a considerable number of questions: Will Joy Behar’s sarcasm translate into mime? Will a rolled eye be equivalent to a sharp retort? Most importantly, will the viewers be provided with a dictionary to decipher this new silent language?

Rumor has it, the ABC execs themselves were initially skeptical of this idea. However, they finally gave in when the producers made an irresistible argument – with zero words, there would be zero chance of a host making a gaffe that would set Twitter on fire.

“We’re embracing the future of television,” said a vaguely optimistic network representative. “Who needs words when you have expressions? This way, our co-hosts can simultaneously discuss, disagree, and destress, all without making a sound.”

Despite the optimism, there’s no doubt that the co-hosts have a challenging task ahead of them. After years of crafting powerful arguments, they now must turn to their facial muscles and hand movements to express their views. On the bright side, they no longer have to wait their turn to speak, so we can expect a lively (if silent) round of overlapping mime debates.

From the viewers’ perspective, this might turn out to be the most peaceful episode of ‘The View’ ever aired. Imagine, a whole hour of television where you can’t be shouted at through the screen. You may not understand a single thing being ‘said,’ but at least your eardrums will thank you.

We hope this experiment works out, and that the co-hosts can successfully create an engaging dialogue without uttering a word. If not, we may just bear witness to the first-ever silent train wreck on daytime television. Either way, it will certainly be an episode to remember – or mime about in years to come.

Uplifting Today produces news satire and parody for global publication. Some of the content contained within this website and on accompanying social media accounts, however similar to real events, is fictitious and will also include this disclaimer. Any real, semi-real or similar names, places, people, products, services and locales are used purely for satirical purposes, and the corresponding story details are purely fictional. The articles contained herein are to be considered satire, parody, surrealism, and humor. Any resemblance to actual persons, businesses, or events is entirely coincidental. Images on Uplifting Today site may consist of original photos, stock photography, and creative commons photos. We have done our best to attribute the creators of such photos based on the information available to us. Use of these works does not suggest that the respective authors endorse us or our use of the images.

Join the Discussion

COMMENTS POLICY: We have no tolerance for messages of violence, racism, vulgarity, obscenity or other such discourteous behavior. Thank you for contributing to a respectful and useful online dialogue.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
More Stuff