Over the summer, we reported that the New York home of celebrity chef and talk show host Rachael Ray had burned down in a devastating fire. Months later, Ray is still trying to get over this tragedy, and she could not help but become emotional as she showed off her toned down Christmas decorations to her fans.

“This year, we’re not putting up trees because no families are coming to visit and we lost our main home, but we absolutely would not let the holidays come and go without some decoration,” said Ray, who added that in the past, she’s had as many as nine Christmas trees in her home over the holidays.

Since the fire, Ray and her family have been staying in a guest house on the property that was not damaged in the blaze. Amidst all the sadness of this year, Ray was still determined to make her home festive, and she showed it off to her fans on Tuesday’s episode of her eponymous talk show.

Ray kicked off the tour by showing off “the doodles I made on pages of my notebook at three o’clock in the morning,” which showed her wild, eclectic burst of holiday creativity.

The talk show host mainly decorated with lots of very ornate stands of garland wrapped around all the windows and doorframes of the home, as well as strands of white lights and various other fun little details. One of the best decorations Ray had was a centerpiece that featured a metal horse head sculpture, which she explained was one of the few things that her family was able to salvage from the fire.

“In the center of our back table — saved from our house that burned — is a horse sculpture that is exactly the same as one my mom had in our house when I was a little girl,” Ray said. “I found it in a flea market, no kidding.”

Though Ray is making the best of the situation, she could not help but become emotional as she admitted that she missed celebrating Christmas in her old home.

“It honestly makes me want to burst into tears how much I miss our trees,” Ray said as her voice trembled. “These partridges and pears and sugared fruits and things, they do make me feel at home and nostalgic and grateful for the family I have and the life I’ve led.”

“I’ve got to tell you, I don’t know where I’d be without friends, a community, and people so dear to me that helped me bring Christmas to life, even when we’re not at home,” she added.

Ray has been rebuilding her home with her husband John Cusimano, but the process has been a long and difficult one. Much to Ray’s dismay, the project may take over a year to be completed.

Ray opened up about how shocking the fire was to Entertainment Tonight weeks after it happened.

“It was just a shock when it actually happened,” she said in September. “I mean, you can’t imagine it. Our house is only 15 years old and we have our chimney cleaned twice a year. And literally it was just the chimney … and then the whole house literally burned down. I think initially we were just in shock. We listened to our first responders and we left with the clothes on our back and the flip-flops and Ugg shoes on our feet.”