Parents of children who are disabled go through many challenges in life, and one of the most frustrating battles is constantly being judged by complete strangers. Now, one mother of a baby with Down syndrome is firing back with a scathing letter after she was mocked for “spoiling” her child.

Kelly and her husband made the decision to adopt two kids with Down syndrome, and since then, they have been giving them all of the love that they have.

Kelly was recently out shopping while carrying her kids in a baby carrier when a woman she did not know stopped her to give her a “free piece of advice.” The stranger told Kelly that she should stop using the carrier to carry her children because it will not make them independent.

Kelly was so shocked by the woman’s words that she was left speechless, and she decided to wait to respond to her.

After gathering her thoughts and emotions, Kelly decided to respond to this woman and everyone else who has judged her with a letter that has since gone viral. Here’s what she had to say:

“Dear Woman in Target

“I’ve heard it before, you know. That I “spoil that baby”. You were convinced that she’d never learn to be “independent”. I smiled at you, kissed her head, and continued my shopping.

If you only knew what I know.

If you only knew how she spent the first ten months of her life utterly alone inside a sterile metal crib, with nothing to comfort her other than sucking her fingers.

If you only knew what her face looked like the moment her orphanage caregiver handed her to me to cradle for the very first time–fleeting moments of serenity commingled with sheer terror. No one had ever held her that way before, and she had no idea what she was supposed to do.

If you only knew that she would lay in her crib after waking and never cry–because up until now, no one would respond.

If you only knew that anxiety was a standard part of her day, along with banging her head on her crib rails and rocking herself for sensory input and comfort.

If you only knew that that baby in the carrier is heartbreakingly “independent” –and how we will spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years trying to override the part of her brain that screams “trauma” and “not safe”.

If you only knew what I know.

If you only knew that that baby now whimpers when she’s put down instead of when she is picked up.

If you only knew that that baby “sings” at the top of her lungs in the mornings and after her nap, because she knows that her chatter will bring someone to lift her out of her crib and change her diaper.

If you only knew that that baby rocks to sleep in her Mama’s or her Papa’s arms instead of rocking herself.

If you only knew that that baby made everyone cry the day she reached out for comfort, totally unprompted.

If you only knew what I know.

“Spoiling that baby” is the most important job I will ever have, and it is a privilege. I will carry her for a little while longer–or as long as she’ll let me–because she is learning that she is safe. That she belongs. That she is loved.

If you only knew…”

Parents everywhere will be able to relate to this letter, which serves as a reminder that we should never judge others. We have no idea what someone else is going through in their lives, so until we take a walk in their shoes, it is important that we reserve all judgment of them.