Elizabeth Smart was only 14 years-old when she was kidnapped and repeatedly raped over the course of nine months back in 2002. Smart has since gone on to get married and have three children, and she took to Instagram this week to answer one of the questions she is most often asked: “How are you able to have sex after experiencing so much rape and sexual trauma?”
Smart explained that there are “big differences” between rape and sex with her husband, Matthew Gilmour. She wrote:
Essentially the big differences I feel between sex and rape are:
1. Sex is entered into by choice (also known as “enthusiastic consent”) and is based off a relationship built off of trust and mutual love.
2. Sex is more than jut a physical act it’s about love, connection, and pleasure.
3. Rape is forced, coerced, manipulative, and often violent.
4. Rape not only is often physically painful but is emotionally and spiritually painful and devastating.
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Daily Mail reported that Smart was only 14 when she was kidnapped from her Utah bedroom by Brian David Mitchell, who performed a mock wedding ceremony with her after taking her into the woods. Over the course of the next nine months, Smart was forced to take drugs and alcohol and was raped daily, sometimes as much as four times a day.
Smart has overcome this ordeal and has gone on to become a public speaker, author, and an advocate. Last week, she announced a YouTube series in which she would answer questions from the public.
“I am not a therapist, I am not a counselor. Anything that I share will be my own personal opinions and my own personal journey,” she said in her first video.
“Keep in mind, if you’re struggling, don’t be afraid of reaching out to a professional for help,” Smart added. “There’s no shame in asking for help. If I’m talking about something that’s triggering — turn it off. Just close out, it’s fine. You won’t offend me by doing that because taking care of yourself and respecting your own boundaries is really important.”
“I imagine that sometimes I will talk about what it’s like to be a survivor, or how my rape affected me, or how my rape has affected my intimate life as a married adult,” she concluded. “If you find something triggering, just stop.”
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