Back in 2013, the Hollywood star Jennifer Lawrence infamously tripped and fell while walking up the stairs to collect her Oscar for her work in the movie Silver Linings Playbook. While the actress described the actual fall as a “horrific humiliation,” she revealed this week that CNN host Anderson Cooper suggesting that she had faked it afterwards was even more “devastating.”

While appearing on Heather McDonald’s podcast Absolutely Not on Thursday, Lawrence said that she did not find the situation to be very funny when it actually happened, despite how “memeworthy” it became.

“I was ready, I was very nervous and also very superstitious. I didn’t want to acknowledge the possibility that I would win, I didn’t want to write down a speech, I had everything in my head. [I was] very, very nervous but I was ready,” Lawrence recalled.

“…They call my name and I’m elated and in shock — you kind of black out — I actually don’t remember what that moment felt like when they said my name,” the star added. “And then I fell, and it just erased everything from my mind. My full brain went blank. I can look back at it now…fondly but for a very long time the fall thing was very sensitive.”

Lawrence went on to say that seeing Cooper suggest that she faked the fall just made her feel worse.

“It was so devastating because it was this horrific humiliation to me, that took away — I don’t know if I’ll ever have the chance to give a speech like that again,” Lawrence said. “That didn’t like feel good for me not to have a speech.”

She added that months after the awards ceremony, she actually confronted Cooper at a Christmas party.

“My friend told me that a vein was bulging out of my head,” Lawrence said. “But he apologized, but I think we’re good friends now.”

She recalled asking Cooper, “‘Have you ever tried to walk up stairs in a ballgown? So then how do you know?’… He apologized immediately, he was like, ‘I don’t know, I have no idea’ and [gave this] wonderful apology. And I was all fired up…he probably told everyone I was a psycho.”