When is it okay to drop your maid-of-honor (MOH) position and out of your friends wedding? Is that ever okay?

Typically when the maid of honor quits a bridal party a week before the wedding it’s probably for a really good reason, being that 1) all of the hard work is done or because 2) secretly she is in love with your boyfriend and can’t watch the two of you get married.

Those are just guesses. It’s not really a common thing to drop out of a wedding right before it takes place. It does happen though.

One MOH had a death in the family and her friend expressed publicly on Reddit that couldn’t forgive the friend for missing her wedding reception. Apparently, the bride was okay with the MOH missing the ceremony for a funeral, but it was unacceptable for her to not attend the party afterwards.

The author explained on the Reddit forum that she had gotten married on Friday, October, 13 — two years prior and she named her maid of honor who apparently was also her college roommate Annie.

The bride wrote: “Two weeks before my wedding, a different bridesmaid had to drop out due to taking finals she couldn’t miss. That was fine, I had another friend I asked and he accepted. Then, less than a week before the wedding, my friend Annie dropped out of the wedding because her grandmother died and the memorial was the same day a couple of hours earlier. (I found it weird they had it on Friday the 13th since her family is SUPER religious, but c’est la vie).”

The author continued: “I completely understood her need to be there and know it was NOT her fault. I asked if she could try and make the reception at least, and she said she couldn’t. I’ll admit, I was really sad, but I got over it. However, after that, I didn’t hear from her for some time. She never apologized and never initiated text conversations.”

Turns out that Annie got married a year and a half later and according to the post, “While I was invited to the wedding, I wasn’t part of her bridal party. I decided to forgo the wedding as I knew I would just bring negative energy and didn’t want to ruin her day. At this point, we hadn’t spoken since MY wedding.”

She concluded her post, “I want to reiterate that I am not mad at her for missing my wedding, I am hurt that she didn’t make an effort to come to my reception and that she never reached out to me afterward.”

You know that Reddit users couldn’t help themselves…

One user commented:  “This lady is nuts. She makes a whole post about being hurt because the friend had to miss her wedding for a funeral. Then when everyone tells her she’s wrong, she refuses to accept it.”

In an update, the original author returned to say that even though the majority of responses said she was wrong, she hadn’t changed her own opinion on the matter: “Feelings are more complicated than Reddit seems to comprehend.”