Man Who Grew Up In Foster Care Adopts Three Boys – ‘I’m The Father I Wish I Had Growing Up’
Growing up in foster care, Barry Farmer always wished he had a stable father figure in his life. Now, he is getting the chance to be the dad he never had after adopting three boys.
Barry grew up in Kinship Care, which is a form of foster care in which a relative steps in to care for a child if their parents are unable to. Raised by his elderly grandmother, Barry learned to take care of himself, and he eventually learned to care for her also when she got older and needed his help. When he turned 21, Barry applied for a foster license to take children in as well.
“Becoming a foster parent was like a tribute to my grandmother because I could never pay her back, but I was definitely able to pay it forward,” explained Barry, who lives in Richmond, Virginia.
After getting his foster license, Barry was entrusted with the care of then-eight-year-old Jaxon. Though the original plan was to reunite Jaxon with his biological family, the boy wanted to stay with Barry within a year.
“It was touching that this child of a different race felt comfortable enough to call me Dad; he was a child searching for belonging in a not so typical situation,” Barry said.
Two years later, in 2013, Barry gave Jaxon a little brother when he Xavier. The next year, he adopted Jeremiah, who was four at the time and in the foster care system.
“Fatherhood has been everything I imagine it to be because I’m the father I wish I had growing up. I’m involved, I’m there when my boys go to sleep and when they wake up,” Barry said. “I’m their biggest cheerleader when helping them achieve their goals. I try not to miss a beat in their lives. I take the responsibility of being their father very seriously and never for granted.”
Barry and his boys are now all growing out their hair together with plans to donate it to a cancer charity. We wish this little family the best of luck in the years to come!
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Please know, children in Kinship Care could possibly carry the same feelings of loss as an adoptee. This my first Christmas living with my Grandmother. I was still getting to know her since we didn’t have a relationship prior to me moving in. Check out the MC Hammer doll lol. This was my new normal, my new beginning, stability. My Grandmother didn’t have a lot to give me but it was more than what I ever had up until that point. I was fed, well groomed, my own room and loved. I may not have had what other children around me had growing up, but I did have a CHANCE. Because I realize not everyone gets a CHANCE. Anyone that tries to tell you that you don’t need to be grateful for a CHANCE to heal, only want you to suffer in their misery, I refuse to do that. I choose to react to my present so that my future can be peaceful. THIS PICTURE BRINGS ME PEACE. To my fellow KinshipCare/FosterCare/Adoptees, I hope you find your peace. Foster Parents and Adoptive Parents I hope the children in your care find their peace.
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