There’s nothing like a good joke to brighten up someone’s day and make them laugh. That’s why we’ve compiled twenty hilarious puns that are sure to bring a smile on your face! So scroll through these and have a good laugh on us.
- Today at the bank, an elderly woman asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
- I purchased some shoes from a drug dealer. I’m not sure what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
- I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows on too high. She seemed surprised.
- The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
- My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.
- A lady walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian replies “They’re right behind you!”
- What do you call a guy who has a rubber toe? Roberto.
- My wife told me that I needed to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
- I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
- And the lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life”. John came fifth and won a toaster.
- What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look! I’m about to change.
- Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.
- My wife told me that I’m immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
- I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
- Did you hear about the italian chef that died? He pasta way.
- As I always suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
- How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho-path!
- My friend says to me: “What rhymes with orange” I said: “No it doesn’t”
- I’m so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
- My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.
What are some of your favorite puns? Let us know in the comments section.
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