With winter just around the corner it will be snowing before we know it. Below is the diary of a man who has obviously experienced way too much snow. If you live where there’s lots of snow, you will understand exactly how he feels.

December 8 – It has started snowing. The first snow of the season so my wife and I got cocktails and sat by the window watching snow flakes drift down from heaven. So romantic that we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9 – Woke to a beautiful blanket of white snow covering every inch of landscape. What a fantastic sight. Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I cleared both our driveway and sidewalks. The snow plow came by and covered up the sidewalks and closed the driveway so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12 – The sun melted all our snow. Such a disappointment, but the neighbor tells me not to worry. We’ll definitely have a white Christmas. He says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter that I’ll never want to see snow again. I don’t think that’s possible.

December 14 – It snowed again. The temperature dropped to -20 and the cold makes everything sparkle. The wind took my breath away but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. Snow plow came back and so I got to clear them both again. I didn’t realize I’d have to do quite this much shoveling. I guess it will help me get back in shape.

December 15 – More snow is in the forecast. I sold my van and bought a 4×4 Blazer, snow tires for my wife’s car and two extra shovels. We stocked the freezer. My wife also wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out, but I think that’s silly.

December 16 – Ice storm this morning and I fell on my ass putting salt on the driveway. Hurt like hell and my wife laughed for an hour. I think that was cruel.

December 17 – Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for five hours so I had to pile on blankets to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should’ve bought the wood stove, but I wouldn’t admit that to her. God I hate it when she’s right. I might freeze to death in my own living room.

December 20 – The electricity is back on, but we had another 14 inches of the damn snow last night. More shoveling. Took all day because the snow plow came by twice. Called the hardware store to see about buying a snow blower but they’re out until March. John says to shovel it or the city will do it and bill me. I think he’s lying.

December 22 – John was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the stuff fell today. It’s so cold and probably won’t melt til August. Took me 45 minutes to get dressed to go shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, went to the bathroom, and got dressed again I was too tired to shovel. I tried to hire John who has a plow on the front of his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he’s too busy. I think he’s an a-hole.

December 23 – Only two inches of snow today and it warmed up to zero. My wife wants me to decorate the front of the house. Is she nuts? Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I think she’s lying.

December 24 – Six inches of snow packed so hard by the snow plow I broke the shovel. I thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a b-tch who drives that snow plow I’ll drag him through the snow and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits on me to get finished shoveling so he can drive down the street and cover it back up. My wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her but I was too busy watching for the snow plow.

December 25 – Merry freaking Christmas! Snowed in with 20 more inches of damn slop. The idea of shoveling snow makes my blood boil. God I hate snow. My wife says I have a bad attitude.The snow plow driver came by asking for donations and I hit him over the head with my shovel. If I have to watch It’s a Wonderful Life one more time I’m going to stuff my wife in the microwave.

December 26 – Still snowed in. Why the hell did I move here. It was her idea and she’s really getting on my nerves.

December 27 – Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze. Plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him and he charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28 – Warmed up to -20 but still snowed in. My wife is driving me crazy.

December 29 – Ten more inches of snow and John says I have to shovel my roof or it could cave in. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. How stupid does he think I am?

December 30 – Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver and he’s suing me for a million dollars. My wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches of the sh-t is predicted.

December 31 – I set fire to what’s left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8 – I feel so good. I love those little white pills they keep giving me, but why am I tied to the bed?

If you got a kick out of this or simply can relate to this man’s misery over snow, be sure to share it with your family and friends.